all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
