how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
wow bdsm is so cute
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
