You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
