Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Randomize
