totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
