My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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