Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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