MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
