dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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