Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
