Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
