he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
