then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
