it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
