I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
tequila makes me forget i have legs
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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