You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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