I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
