Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
