And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
