There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
