drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
