pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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