I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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