Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
