i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Are we still banned from the library?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
