I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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