WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
