"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
