i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
