Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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