So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
