I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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