Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
