Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
