ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
