Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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