is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
