At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
