I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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