then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
