no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Mom said you looked used
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
