Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
