new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Boobs are out for the taking
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
