He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
