Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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