it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
