Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
