You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
