I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
