oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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