hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
