is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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