okay pat passed out under dana's car
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
