I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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