It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
