Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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