Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
