he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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