she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
