My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
