Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
