I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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