Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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